Whenever I hear people talk about children on the Autism Spectrum and what they can’t do, I tend to add in my head the word ‘yet’. I do this because I have seen children overcome challenges and surprise everyone. My own son included.
“He can’t play a sport.”
Yet.
“He can’t understand what we are trying to tell him.”
Yet.
“He doesn’t want to join the group.”
Yet.
“He doesn’t focus on the task.”
Yet.
I firmly believe in the ‘unbelievable’. Why? Because someone once said to me, “ He will never be able to tell you he loves you.”
They were wrong.
“He won’t be able to keep up with children his own age.”
Wrong again.
“He won’t be able to communicate true thoughts or emotions.”
Wrong, oh so wrong.
The other night, after a particularly challenging day of sensory issues for my son, I gave him a hug. He squeezed hard and told me, “Mom, I love you just the way you are.”
A lump came to my throat, as I wondered if he knew what he was saying and how kind the words were.
“I love you just the way you are too, Sweetie.” I hugged him again.
“You are a good boobah,” he said. (Boobah is a character that he liked when he was younger but kind of became his pet name for people he liked.) With that, he rolled over and started talking to himself, his usual nighttime routine.
What a compliment! What a moment. Don’t tell me he doesn’t know. He has come a long way since that first diagnosis - and we still have a long way to go - but it’s moments like this that will forever have me saying…..yet.
Never giving up!
Renná
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Friday, 1 June 2012
Hurry Up!
It was on a particular busy day when Matthew introduced it to me. A cute new string of words that made me smile.
I was in a hurry to get to an appointment and Matthew asked me, “What are you moving quickly about?”
“I am in a hurry, Bud, we’re going to be late and I don’t like to be late,” I responded.
He nodded but took his time getting up the stairs and joining me to get our coats on and leave.
“Hurry up! We need to get going now!” I said, trying to stress the urgency.
“Mom!” he responded back. “I am HURRY UP-ing!”
It was short, to the point and quite literal to him.
Now, any time we are getting reading to go or I call him to get ready or hurry, he happily says, “Okay! I’m hurry up-ing!”
Never giving up!
Renná
I was in a hurry to get to an appointment and Matthew asked me, “What are you moving quickly about?”
“I am in a hurry, Bud, we’re going to be late and I don’t like to be late,” I responded.
He nodded but took his time getting up the stairs and joining me to get our coats on and leave.
“Hurry up! We need to get going now!” I said, trying to stress the urgency.
“Mom!” he responded back. “I am HURRY UP-ing!”
It was short, to the point and quite literal to him.
Now, any time we are getting reading to go or I call him to get ready or hurry, he happily says, “Okay! I’m hurry up-ing!”
Never giving up!
Renná
Thursday, 31 May 2012
Learning to Tie Your Shoes
Oh, how I remember my father trying to teach me how to tie my shoes. It was a frustrating experience for the both of us but I remember the thrill when I finally did it for the first time, all by myself! So, I set out to teach Matthew how to tie a shoe.
We had tried previously but could not hold his attention long enough to keep him focused on the task. It was frustrating for him and resulted in a lot of tears and upset. He was quite happy with the Velcro shoes, but I felt this was an important life-skill that he should learn. He didn’t like being hunched over his new shoes, trying to figure out what goes where, when to make the loop and how to finally tie it all together. I let it go for a while. Pick your battles, I said to myself.
So, I was shopping one day and was thrilled to find a pencil case that looked like a shoe! Complete with laces and everything! What a fantastic little tool this would be for learning! He could set it on the table and learn comfortably.
Well, he wasn’t as thrilled as I was but he hunkered down to learn. Crying. Telling me I was fired. Telling me that he didn’t need to learn to tie his shoes. I didn’t want to let him give up. I told him that if he learned to tie his shoe today, there was a surprise in it for him.
He loves surprises. So, through the tears (mine AND his), we went over and over it. I realized that his biggest challenge was finding the right time to pull his loop through, so I marked the yellow lace with a black Sharpie to show him where to pull it through. It WORKED!!
I took some pictures to show you so that if you are having the same challenges I was, then you can see what ended up working for us and may for you too!
Step one: The initial cross over. Notice the black mark on the lace. I put this there after tying it and finding the area that needed to signal to him to pull it through.
Step Two: After wrapping the lace around the loop, look for that black mark.
Step Three: Pull the black marked loop through tightly.
Step Four: Voila! Celebration time!
I am thrilled to say that the look on his face when he finally tied it himself was incredibly exciting. He was so proud that he couldn’t wait to show Daddy. I was so proud, I couldn’t stop hugging him.
We’ll keep practicing with him, as I want to be sure he has it down pat. I can’t tell you the joy we feel in accomplishing such a task!
Never giving up!
Renná
We had tried previously but could not hold his attention long enough to keep him focused on the task. It was frustrating for him and resulted in a lot of tears and upset. He was quite happy with the Velcro shoes, but I felt this was an important life-skill that he should learn. He didn’t like being hunched over his new shoes, trying to figure out what goes where, when to make the loop and how to finally tie it all together. I let it go for a while. Pick your battles, I said to myself.
So, I was shopping one day and was thrilled to find a pencil case that looked like a shoe! Complete with laces and everything! What a fantastic little tool this would be for learning! He could set it on the table and learn comfortably.
Well, he wasn’t as thrilled as I was but he hunkered down to learn. Crying. Telling me I was fired. Telling me that he didn’t need to learn to tie his shoes. I didn’t want to let him give up. I told him that if he learned to tie his shoe today, there was a surprise in it for him.
He loves surprises. So, through the tears (mine AND his), we went over and over it. I realized that his biggest challenge was finding the right time to pull his loop through, so I marked the yellow lace with a black Sharpie to show him where to pull it through. It WORKED!!
I took some pictures to show you so that if you are having the same challenges I was, then you can see what ended up working for us and may for you too!
Step one: The initial cross over. Notice the black mark on the lace. I put this there after tying it and finding the area that needed to signal to him to pull it through.
Step Two: After wrapping the lace around the loop, look for that black mark.
Step Three: Pull the black marked loop through tightly.
Step Four: Voila! Celebration time!
I am thrilled to say that the look on his face when he finally tied it himself was incredibly exciting. He was so proud that he couldn’t wait to show Daddy. I was so proud, I couldn’t stop hugging him.
We’ll keep practicing with him, as I want to be sure he has it down pat. I can’t tell you the joy we feel in accomplishing such a task!
Never giving up!
Renná
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Desire over Understanding
I’ve noticed something lately about my little guy. It’s that his desire to have something is clearly interfering with his ability to understand.
For example, if he would like a treat of three cookies, but we are out of those cookies, he continues to ask for those cookies until I physically take him over to the cupboard and show him that we are out. I did that a few times until he grew to understand that when I say, “There are no more cookies,” his response is “Well, you need to go to the store.”
Recently, he has been hoping that his grandparents, who live in another province, would move here soon. Given that they are trying to sell their house and are getting impatient themselves, it is a bit of a sore spot when he asks, “Are you moving here tomorrow?” We have tried to explain, over and over again, but his desire to have them here, far outweighs his ability to handle the answer. It’s almost as though his mind has decided that he won’t like the answer (just like the cookies) and he continues to ask. Everytime we get on Skype, we all brace ourselves for the question.
It takes more time than most people for him to grasp a different answer than one he expects. Learning to steer him towards an understanding that may be different than his expectations, is definitely a challenge, but one that with practice, will make things easier for him.
Never giving up!
Renná
For example, if he would like a treat of three cookies, but we are out of those cookies, he continues to ask for those cookies until I physically take him over to the cupboard and show him that we are out. I did that a few times until he grew to understand that when I say, “There are no more cookies,” his response is “Well, you need to go to the store.”
Recently, he has been hoping that his grandparents, who live in another province, would move here soon. Given that they are trying to sell their house and are getting impatient themselves, it is a bit of a sore spot when he asks, “Are you moving here tomorrow?” We have tried to explain, over and over again, but his desire to have them here, far outweighs his ability to handle the answer. It’s almost as though his mind has decided that he won’t like the answer (just like the cookies) and he continues to ask. Everytime we get on Skype, we all brace ourselves for the question.
It takes more time than most people for him to grasp a different answer than one he expects. Learning to steer him towards an understanding that may be different than his expectations, is definitely a challenge, but one that with practice, will make things easier for him.
Never giving up!
Renná
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Win Prizes with a Purpose
I want to Thank everyone who has supported this blog by e-mailing me, sending Tweets and making such positive comments and contributions. This blogging experience has been a wonderful one so far and I want to pass along my Thanks to those that follow regularly and have even signed up as a member!
To Thank you, I will be making monthly draws called, “Prizes with a Purpose”! Snazzy little title, right? The prizes will be tools, materials, books, games or toys that you can share with your children. The first draw will be held on Saturday, June 30th, 2012 and to kick it off, the wonderful folks at Super Duper Publications have kindly offered the first prize.
It is an incredibly fun game called, “Jeepers Peepers”. If you are a fan of the Ellen talk show, you’ve seen her and her guests play a similar game where they hold up words or pictures on their foreheads and the other person must give clues so that the person holding the card can guess it correctly! In this family-fun game, you put on the glasses (so cute!) and put a picture in the slot, then have the person wearing the glasses and picture ask questions until they guess what it is!
Super Duper is not just going to provide the game, but an entire set of add-on cards as well! How fantastic is that?!!
To see more about this game, please check out the link http://www.superduperinc.com/products/view.aspx?pid=JP350
So, don’t delay! Sign up to read Hugs are Helping and enjoy! I look forward to meeting you!
Never giving up!
Renná
To Thank you, I will be making monthly draws called, “Prizes with a Purpose”! Snazzy little title, right? The prizes will be tools, materials, books, games or toys that you can share with your children. The first draw will be held on Saturday, June 30th, 2012 and to kick it off, the wonderful folks at Super Duper Publications have kindly offered the first prize.
It is an incredibly fun game called, “Jeepers Peepers”. If you are a fan of the Ellen talk show, you’ve seen her and her guests play a similar game where they hold up words or pictures on their foreheads and the other person must give clues so that the person holding the card can guess it correctly! In this family-fun game, you put on the glasses (so cute!) and put a picture in the slot, then have the person wearing the glasses and picture ask questions until they guess what it is!
Super Duper is not just going to provide the game, but an entire set of add-on cards as well! How fantastic is that?!!
To see more about this game, please check out the link http://www.superduperinc.com/products/view.aspx?pid=JP350
So, don’t delay! Sign up to read Hugs are Helping and enjoy! I look forward to meeting you!
Never giving up!
Renná
Declaration of Independence
Recently, we have seen a lot more of that in our son. We are pleased that he is not just sitting back and allowing all things to be done for him. He is trying to make valuable contributions to the household these days. As a matter of fact, while I am typing this, his father is letting him vacuum the living room and hallway floors. There are a few reminders that the vacuum is to stay on the floor, but he is trying. It all started with a little voice asking, “Can I do it?”
This isn’t the first time he’s asked this. We have shown him how to dust (not a favourite, so he’s never asked again), clean up his room, clear the table, throw laundry from the washer to the dryer (he likes the fresh smell) and of course, help in the kitchen.
After mixing ingredients for brownies, for which he stood and stirred for a minute and then took off, he proudly announced to his father that he had helped.
So, one morning, when I went into his room to see how he was doing getting ready for school, I turned and noticed his bed was made. There were no fancy hospital corners or anything, but it was made.
“Did your brother do this for you?” I asked him.
“No! I did it all by myself!” he smiled with pride.
I gave him a hug and told him that I thought it was wonderful that he made his own bed and how much that helps me out. He just smiled and ran to go brush his teeth.
Me, well, I stood looking at that bed for a few minutes, tempted to iron out the wrinkles and tuck in a stray blanket, but thought better of it. He had tried. Who was I to correct the effort? It will get better with practice, just as many things do.
Never giving up!
Renná
Monday, 28 May 2012
Lunch Bag Communication
When I noticed that my son wasn’t eating all of his lunch, and it was mostly coming back home, I sat down with him to talk about how important it is to eat. How he needs the energy and how it will keep him healthy.
I even talked about the need to ‘re-fuel’ like a car would need gas. He liked that analogy, though I’m not sure it sunk in completely. He just wanted to go outside to play and working on a picture for a comic book that he has started to be interested in creating. But eating had to come first, I tried to tell him.
Still, the lunches were coming back. So, keeping in mind how much he has loved communicating via notes lately, I wrote him a note to go in his lunch bag. It read: “Hi Matthew! Please be sure to eat all of your lunch today! I love you. See you after school! Mom xo”
I hoped this would do the trick. He likes getting notes and perhaps this would serve as a visual reminder once the lunch bag was open. Would it even keep him on task?
Well, when he got home that day, his lunch was completely eaten. The only thing left were the containers. And a note. It read, “Dear Mom, I ate all of my lunch.”
Never giving up!
Renná
I even talked about the need to ‘re-fuel’ like a car would need gas. He liked that analogy, though I’m not sure it sunk in completely. He just wanted to go outside to play and working on a picture for a comic book that he has started to be interested in creating. But eating had to come first, I tried to tell him.
Still, the lunches were coming back. So, keeping in mind how much he has loved communicating via notes lately, I wrote him a note to go in his lunch bag. It read: “Hi Matthew! Please be sure to eat all of your lunch today! I love you. See you after school! Mom xo”
I hoped this would do the trick. He likes getting notes and perhaps this would serve as a visual reminder once the lunch bag was open. Would it even keep him on task?
Never giving up!
Renná
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